http://mdtsblog.blogspot.com/ Why you ask? See Mercedes blog, then come back. Let's just say I did ok until she turned blue. I couldn't go to sleep lat night without worrying it would happen again, despite the Tylenol. I felt like the worst Mother in the world. Like I could have prevented it if I would have just given her the medicine whether she seemed to need it or not. Like I didn't remain as calm as I should have in a crisis situation. In general, just a really bad Mommy.
And why is it that she always does this stuff when I am taking care of her? Derek was at school and all he got was a phone call from a bunch of babbling idiots (Mom and I) who didn't give him the details he needed. My focus was elsewhere and the EMTs would not let Mom talk. Alexis, poor baby) lost it altogether.
I must say, this neighborhood is truly awesome. The ladies and gents were very supportive of all of us. They helped me with 'Cedes (9 months pregnant is not the best time to be carrying a 35 pound child around and stressing out), they took Alexis under their care and comforted her and tried to get her calmed down, and they made sure Mom was ok. Thank GOD for each and every one of them, as well as the ones who were there later to bring Mom and 'Lex to the hospital, take 'Lex home with them and talk to her. Just everything. There were a million little things that I was so grateful for and I will never be able to thank those people enough. Not to mention the emergency and emergency room personnel who were wonderful.
I must also say wonderful things about Mom and Alexis. As soon I said call 911, Mom was on the phone. Alexis tried to follow directions, though she was falling apart and that was very good for a 10 year old who has never seen anything like that before. Poor baby saw Mercede turn blue.
Every bad thing you can think of goes through your mind in those few minutes that seem like an eternity. I can't say that I kept my cool as perhaps I should have, but when she turned blue that really scared me. I was doing ok until then. At that point, all I knew was that I needed help, right NOW! If it never happens again, I will be only too happy. I felt like I was doing pretty good to be as calm as I was. And of course, everyone probably thought I was going to go into labor right then and there. I can't say as I blame them. Every emergency person who realized I was pregnant was definitely concerned. I think Mason enjoyed the adrenaline rush, however he chose to hang out for a while longer.
Speaking of Mason, he's fine. Still a boy (obvious from the picture) and he's a good size which would explain why I am 3 times as big now as I was with Mercedes. I am waiting on my Dr's advice after yesterday to see if I need to do anything.
I am still a basket case today. Derek is trying to deal with Mercedes for a while and get some sleep since he had midterms this week and has not slept enough with that and Mercedes illness. When it rains it pours.
I can't imagine feeling any more guilty or scared than I have since Mercedes had her seizure yesterday. Every bad thing that could happen went through my mind and continues to go through my mind. I am so lucky that it wasn't worse. I am lucky there were people in the house and nearby to help me. I am lucky the medical people got here and took over. I NEVER want to see my baby's eyes glaze over like that again or see her turn blue while it's happening. NEVER! As a parent you are supposed to protect them and care for them, but it's not always possible. You do everything you can or know how to do and sometimes it's not enough to keep them safe.
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3 comments:
Holy crap, how awful. But PLEASE don't feel guilty. It sounds like you were doing everything right--how could you possibly know that could happen? You did what most of us would do--not much fever, no tyelenol. Why would you? we're always told if it's lowgrade, leave it alone.
And heck, remember Sammy (not Sami)? He fell and broke his arm on Halloween one year; his mom--a NURSE--stood there frozen while someone else took charge and called the EMTs. She *knew* what to do but that doesn't mean anything when it's your kid. When it's your kid everything you know just flies out of your head.
Try not to beat yourself. We all have those moments. Heck, mine was almost letting my kid drown...
Thank God she's fine. And you were probably more together than you remember. I believe you are not given more than you can handle. I'll bet this will all calm down, then you will go into labor. One thing after another is much better than 10 things at once.
I hope I don't have to test that theory again. The one that I really was not a complete basket case. I'm still not ready to trust her out of my sight for more than a few minutes, and sleep is definitely not an easy thing.
On the flip side, WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE FOR MASON TO DECIDE TO COME? He is definitely male!
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