I lost 10 years off my life yesterday

http://mdtsblog.blogspot.com/ Why you ask? See Mercedes blog, then come back. Let's just say I did ok until she turned blue. I couldn't go to sleep lat night without worrying it would happen again, despite the Tylenol. I felt like the worst Mother in the world. Like I could have prevented it if I would have just given her the medicine whether she seemed to need it or not. Like I didn't remain as calm as I should have in a crisis situation. In general, just a really bad Mommy.

And why is it that she always does this stuff when I am taking care of her? Derek was at school and all he got was a phone call from a bunch of babbling idiots (Mom and I) who didn't give him the details he needed. My focus was elsewhere and the EMTs would not let Mom talk. Alexis, poor baby) lost it altogether.

I must say, this neighborhood is truly awesome. The ladies and gents were very supportive of all of us. They helped me with 'Cedes (9 months pregnant is not the best time to be carrying a 35 pound child around and stressing out), they took Alexis under their care and comforted her and tried to get her calmed down, and they made sure Mom was ok. Thank GOD for each and every one of them, as well as the ones who were there later to bring Mom and 'Lex to the hospital, take 'Lex home with them and talk to her. Just everything. There were a million little things that I was so grateful for and I will never be able to thank those people enough. Not to mention the emergency and emergency room personnel who were wonderful.

I must also say wonderful things about Mom and Alexis. As soon I said call 911, Mom was on the phone. Alexis tried to follow directions, though she was falling apart and that was very good for a 10 year old who has never seen anything like that before. Poor baby saw Mercede turn blue.

Every bad thing you can think of goes through your mind in those few minutes that seem like an eternity. I can't say that I kept my cool as perhaps I should have, but when she turned blue that really scared me. I was doing ok until then. At that point, all I knew was that I needed help, right NOW! If it never happens again, I will be only too happy. I felt like I was doing pretty good to be as calm as I was. And of course, everyone probably thought I was going to go into labor right then and there. I can't say as I blame them. Every emergency person who realized I was pregnant was definitely concerned. I think Mason enjoyed the adrenaline rush, however he chose to hang out for a while longer.

Speaking of Mason, he's fine. Still a boy (obvious from the picture) and he's a good size which would explain why I am 3 times as big now as I was with Mercedes. I am waiting on my Dr's advice after yesterday to see if I need to do anything.

I am still a basket case today. Derek is trying to deal with Mercedes for a while and get some sleep since he had midterms this week and has not slept enough with that and Mercedes illness. When it rains it pours.

I can't imagine feeling any more guilty or scared than I have since Mercedes had her seizure yesterday. Every bad thing that could happen went through my mind and continues to go through my mind. I am so lucky that it wasn't worse. I am lucky there were people in the house and nearby to help me. I am lucky the medical people got here and took over. I NEVER want to see my baby's eyes glaze over like that again or see her turn blue while it's happening. NEVER! As a parent you are supposed to protect them and care for them, but it's not always possible. You do everything you can or know how to do and sometimes it's not enough to keep them safe.

Our Busy Lives

Derek starts mid-terms this week. Oh life is going to be so much fun. He gets grouchy when he doesn't do well on his tests. He's also got homework and a paper due today, so I am sure he will be hard at work after I leave.

Mom started water aerobics yesterday. Many thanks Christie for coming up with the idea, giving her the push she needed, and taking her. Hopefully your workout was good for you too. Mom slept for four hours after she got home, so I think it was definitely a workout. She says she's a bit achy in some places this morning, but not too bad.

I have started an online course that is required for my job. I figure I can do part of the work at home so it should not be a problem. I am not overly thrilled about having to take the course, but hey, it gives me a certification which can't be all bad. Actually, I have two more to take before I get the certification, but still, I get something out of it. A little education never hurt anyone, right.

We have been playing boggle recently. It's been quite interesting. Mom and I have a tendency to use some words that throw Derek for a loop. Alexis is really good at finding wors that no one else sees. It's fun, though there is always the controversy. Plus, in the heat of the game, we tend to forget the CORRECT spelling of some words. Like savvy, which is not "savy" and wart, not "wort". It's good for us though. It makes us use our brains more than usual.

I am still pregnant, despite the persisent backache and contractions throughout the night. Everything, except the backache, has calmed down, so I guess it will be a while longer. I am going to take leave next week if Mason does not decide to show up. With the lack of sleep, it's hard to concentrate. Plus, I get tired of feeling like I am not contributing and that the gentlemen I work with (yes, the are gentlemen) are watching to make sure I am ok. I see the DR Thursday morning, so maybe we will find something out then. I can only hope.

Laundry

Sigh! It never ends. It just keeps coming back. Like a bad dream. Laundry, and more laundry. And with the summer, even more laundry. I like the new washer and dryer, I really do, but I HATE folding and hanging up laundry.

I had another OB appt yesterday. They get more depressing as I go along. I wish Mason would decide to come so I can avoid anymore appts. I am now on Dr number 7 or 8. So none of them really know anything about my case. Two weeks until my due date, so I really REALLY hope Mason shows up soon.

We are going to the circus tomorrow. Mom, Alexis, Mercedes and I. Derek is going to stay home and study for his midterms this week. Power to him. I am glad I am not having to worry about that anymore. Though I am having to take some online course for work, they aren't too bad. It's just to get a certification.

'Lexi seems to be happy again with her guitar lessons. Not quite as happy as she was to start with, but still ok. Today she starts swimming lessons with Mercedes. And of, course, it's snowing out.; Just what we need wet-haired girls out in the snow.

What day is it?

Yeesh! The lack of a good nights sleep really starts to hit me on Wednesdays. I start getting really irritable and loopy. Not that Derek wouldn't tell you I am usually irritable and loopy, but I woke up irritated this morning. What's up with that?

And yes, I am still 9 months pregnant. 2 1/2 weeks to go before the due date. I am going to be most displeased if I go OVER. Both sides of my ribcase are now sore since Mason decided to switch sides and beat up the other side. I can't reach the dinner table without special adjustments, and I have to potty every 1-1 1/2 hours, even at night. I drink something like 90 ounces of fluid a day (minimum) and I have gained over 30 pounds now. I have a small beach ball that waddles around in front of me and no longer fits beneath my maternity shirts.

Yes, I am complaining. No, I do not expect you to care. I just need to vent a little. I am still happy to be pregnant and I am excited and pleased and all that other mushy stuff that makes the guys bazooka puke. I am just feeling a bit stressed right now. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to deal with people, and it's only 0730 in the morning.

On the bright side, Alexis had guitar lesson number 2 yesterday. She got the chord on Monday so she was happy again, for the most part. Her instructor said we did not cut her nails short enough which was why she could not get the fingerings right. We live, we learn.

We got our tickets for the circus on Sunday too. I expect Mason will decide Saturday is a good day to arrive. Isn't that how it works? Mom is going to try to find someone else who can drive them if that happens. Alexis is looking forward to the circus and I would hate for her to miss it just becuase Mason chooses an inappropriate time to arrive. ; )

Friday Morning - All Alone

It sure is quiet without Grandma and Alexis puttering around getting ready for school. I don't mind the quiet, it's just the routine is broken.

Mason has dropped some more. Now I have space beneath my lungs,though I still can'tbreathe half the time. And he's awake most of the day now. It's fun to watch him kicking. It looks like the scene from the movie Alien where the alien is coming out of the guys stomach. I know, lovely thought isn't it?

I had the weirdest dream last night. I don't think I want to discuss it here since it was THAT odd. No, I am not reverting to puberty and having wet dreams (sicko). But it was one of those dreams that you wake up from and just wonder, could it happen, is it true, where did that come from?

I have the ever wonderful OB appt today. Gee, and it's ANOTHER doctor. How could I get so lucky? How hard is it to work the DRs schedules so they can see the same patient the whole way through the pregnancy? I see someone next week, if I make it that far. That makes what? six, seven OBs I have seen?

I got to tour the maternity ward last night. They have the nice all-inclusive rooms with quits that made them look really homey. Of course, I am not sure that I will really care about the beds once the labor starts, but perhaps afterwards if I stay a few days. I can handle staying a few days and not worrying about cooking, cleaning, or clean sheets. Hey, there is just something nice about a freshly made bed with newly cleaned sheets. It's a comfort issue. If I could find a bed that automatically changes the sheets every day and makes itself I would be set.

I am debating starting another Master's degree. (CRINGE) However, this one would NOT hve a thesis. I was looking at online degrees in psychology. There is one from an accreddited university that is for Forensics Psychology. Being the ghoul that I am, I am very interested. Since I still have GI bill benefits, it might be worthwhile to get another degree in something I am really interested in. Besides, it gives me another option when I retire. At least it looks good on a resume, right?

Today is grocery shopping day too (groan). Alexis is out of school so I can use her as slave labor to help haul the stuff around. I keep thinking I need to work it out to go every week, but that just screws up my system. The pain of going every two to two and half weeks is more than enough. God knows I don't want to fight the crowds the rest of the time. And there always seems to be crowds, even in the morning. But hey, dollar for dollar it's worth it. Sadly. . . .

Derek is threatening to quit school again. One of his professors made a comment that was probably not inclined to make Derek feel good about the class or the program he's in. I am beginning to think he should change programs myself, but he's not sure that the VA will let him, especially since they are footing the bill. On the flip side, he's considered a Senior now. Gee, and he's not graduating for two more years. He's got some tough courses right now, and the summer is going to be just as bad though more condensed. He's only taking classes in the first session, and they are doozies. Business Writing, Biology, and something degree specific. Ouch. I do not miss that feeling of being overwhlemed and bogged down.

I suppose I should make an effort to get up and go to work. But I don't want to. It's not that I didn't get enough sleep last night, becuase I didn't, however, I did sleep fairly well, all things considered. I wasn't up half the night with a sick little person, or going to the bathroom. And I know, you really wanted to know that last part. I am the queen of TMI some days.

Oh yeah, I need to go to work. See how easily distracted I am. Gee, look at the pretty colors. . . .

)(*YN % NBWJ (#U

Yes, I am tired. Or maybe going crazy, I am not sure which. On top of the normal lack of sleep caused by Mason playing at 2:00 AM, Mercedes allergies are acting up, so I had a very unhappy 4 yr old coughing half the night.

Yesterday we had student-parent conferences. Alexis did VERY well 2 A's and 2 B's. She also was very good at the student led conference. Very impressive.

Guitar lessons started yesterday for Alexis. The teacher seemed like a nice guy. Alexis will be practicing pretty regularly to make it worthwhile.

Why do my children have to be night owls when I am a morning person? Mason spends half the night playing around in my tummy, sometimes painfully. Mercedes doesn't want to go to sleep before 11:00, and then is tired and grouchy in the morning. Maybe the the next child will be more in tune to my morning needs.

I am soooo tored. I am so tired that I was having really weird dreams right up until I got up. The bad part is that I can't remember them, but I know they were odd. I think I even dreamed about work, which is really sad, since I spend so little time there right now.

I am going to come home and sleep today. I just need to survive a few hours at the office. Possibly reading stuff that I won't remember anyways. I am sure most of it has to do with the pregnancy hormones, but there is some of it that is just me being a flake. I can accept that, really, I can.

Quick Update

This has been a slow week in some ways, but still busy.

Derek is knee deep in homework now. The instructor sent out three homework assignments that are due on Tuesday and that's just one class. He hasn't taken any tests yet, but he seems to be doing alright. There is just a LOT of homework for the three classes he has.

Mercedes goes to the doctor on MOnday for a speech and hearing screening. It's mandatory here in Ohio. They are big on that. A lot of kids we know are going to developmental classes to help with their speech. Personally, it seems a bit much to me, but I am not a dr.

Patch has survived her two weeks in confinement. She's happy to be out from what I can tell. She's being pretty demanding about attention though. I just hope she does't start peeing on the carpets again. I would hate to have to lock her up again.

Mason seems to be doing fine. He can be pretty rambunctious when he gets going. I am really hoping that next week is the week. We have an OB appt on Friday, but I doubt they will do anything since it will only be week 36. I am getting braxton-hicks contractions off and on, so my body is definitely preparing to give birth. I keep waking up expecting my tmmy to be gone : )

Next week is busy busy busy. Both girls have things going on. Alexis has parent-teacher vonferences and guitar lessons. Mercedes has gymnastics and a Sibling class. We will be going full-tilt.

Busy Busy Busy

Sunday was Mason's Baby Shower. It was lovely. The neighborhood ladies did a beautiful job and I really had a lot of fun. Mason also got several things that will come in very handy. I especially liked the carrier, since I figure I am the one who will be carrying him in it, I think I am entitled to like it a lot.

We took Mom out last night (Monday) for her birthday. We went to the Murder Myster at the Spaghetti Warehouse. It was fun, though I think the last one we went to was better. As usual I forgot the direction, thanks much Kristi for talking us through it, God knows we are all flakes in this house, except maybe Alexis.

The girls got to stay home with a babysitter and eat pizza. I am not sure who got the better end of the deal.

I am taking Mom to get a manicure and pedicure today as another part of her birthday present. I think it will be nice. A little pampering never hurt anyone, right?

Half days are almost worse than full days. I feel like I am trying to pack everything in to a little bit of time. Today and tomorrow I am attending a conference. They have no air conditioning in an obviously overfilled room. The pregnant lady does not feel good. I am wearing civilian clothes tomorrow so hopefully it will be better. For now, I feel really awful. I need to suck down more water then try to eat something. After that I hope that the recurrent heartburn (since last week) does not act up.

Is it Friday yet?

1/2 Days

I tried to submit this last night, but blogger was giving me fits, so here I am again, trying to re-construct my semi-coherent thoughts from last night at bedtime.

First, I had an OB appt on Thursday at 0800. I am not sure Derek really appreciates those early morning Drs appts. Anyways, Mason dropped last weekend and there was some other stuff going on so the dr decided to be cautious and check me out for pre-term labor. 2 hours, one cervical exam, and time on the fetal monitor proved that was not the case, though my cervix is starting to thin out (meaning we should have a baby in the next few weeks). Derek was actually hoping I was in labor, he's ready for Mason to arrive. I figure it will be one of those 4:00 a.m. nudge, nudge, Honey, my water just broke, it's time to go. He will either be off like a shot, or grumble and roll over. The second one would not be an advisable action.

The doctor has also put me on 1/2 days at work to give me some relief from the discomforts of late pregnancy. I love my doctor. I am also wearing BDU's full-time (one in the CSAF eye) and am authorized tennis shoes, but I am not willing to look like a COMPLETE dork. It's bad enough that I already look like a beached whale. I am twice as big with Mason as I ever was with MErcedes, and I'm not done yet. I've only gained about 27 or 28 lbs, but boy, I feel huge. I don't look as big as other women at the same point which I guess is good, so I shouldn't complain, but I feel huge!

Derek is grumbling about school now. All three of his classes assign homework every day, so he's got a boatload of homework twice a week. Ahh, too bad. What's funny is that he got a letter from the head of the accountancy (accounting) department inviting him to come in for a discussion of the possibility of changing his major to accounting. Hee hee hee. He doesn't want to be an accountant, but it's nice to be wanted, right?

We are heading off the the Auto show now. Wish me luck, and lots of empty benches to sit on.

1/2 Days

Boy, yesterday was fun. I got up at 0600 to take a shower before having to go to the doctor. No hot water. The maintenance guys didn't fix the problem the day before, so guess who got another call to come fix the problem? I had a hot shower this morning.

The doctor's visit was tons of fun as well. My 0800 appt ended at almost 1000. Since Mason dropped and I had some other labor signs, the decided to do a cervical exam and put me on the baby monitor. No, I was not in pre-term labor like they suspected, however, my cervix has started to thin, meaning labor is grtting ready to start in th next few weeks or so. Additionally, I am now authorized to wear BDU's full-time, wear tennis shoes with my BDU's (I don't think so), and only work 4 hours a day (I do try to leave at the 4 hr point, though it usually goes slightly over). All is well though, I have a minor infection that is being treated and should not affect anything. Iam fine, just tired. But isn't life fun? We have to go grocery shopping later today which I am soooo (not) looking forward too. The fun never ends here ; 0