Venting

This is my rant. It doesn't mean anything, though it is a nice thought.

I knew it would happen. I knew the minute I said anything I would get the poor Derek sob story. I am so sick of trying to make his life easier and try not to make demands. After 10 years of marriage I understand that Derek can't deal with more than one thing at a time, and even then he sometimes has issues. I understand that school is hard and requires a lot from him. I understand he has wants and desires.

However, I do too. I have been through school. I have had to put my personal and private needs on hold. I have had to let school slip becuase life complicated things. However, when I got married I expected a partner, someone who would help out. You know, not just with the household stuff, but emotionally. I didn't realize that I can not possibly be as stressed out, tired, worn out, etc as Derek. I am supposed to be able to deal with EVERYTHING. And I do, on a regular basis.

I make sure the bills get paid, there is food on the table (and yes, I do my fair share of cooking), I take care of the laundry, generally am the one who cleans the house, and I am now doing the dishes, paying someone to keep our lawn mowed, and taking care of the kids. Oh, and yes, I now fully understand that Mom and Alexis are my responsibility and I need to make sure that Derek is not burdened by them being in the house. And I will end my career at 20 years so Derek does not have to deal with the military anymore even though I might possibly be able to stay in longer, it pays for health insurance, and provides a stable income. I am also going to make sure that Derek is not overly burdened with Mercedes and Mason becuase they are my kids and I am home until August so I can do this stuff. Let's forget that I have spent the last 9 months carrying Mason and going through a rough labor and delivery, not to mention the variety of other stressors that came up in the last month. No, it's been three weeks, so I should be recovered enough to handle everything. Though I can keep going, I am going to stop venting now. I need to feed myself, finish the load of dishes I am working on, and start separating laundry for this weekend's fun. But remember, I am a lazy, worthless person, it does not do their fair share around this house, provide for our needs, etc. And people wonder why divorce is so prevalent in our society?