She said one time that you never really get over your parents dying. I can see that, becuase you know it hits you at the weirdest times, and I don't think it's becuase I am pregnant and emotional.
I mean, sitting at a stoplight where you had a conversation, or turning around in the grocery store and realizing she's not there, or trying to explain to someone who did not know her what a neat and unusual lady she was. And she was always a lady.
It's hard knowing that she's missing things that she would have been so excited about. Mason is crawling, actual tummy off the ground, not just scooting crawling. He's cruising too. I think he learned to crawl so he could get to the couch and pull himself up so he could cruise.
She's going to miss the last pregnancy and grandbaby, and yo uknow that's got to irk her. She loved getting her hands on the little ones. And she and Mason were buddies. He misses her I think.
In some ways, it hasn't really set in, but at other times, I just want to cry and cry. It's not because she's in pain or anything,I figure she's in heaven with an endless library, a computer with her favorite games, a tv where she doesn't share the remote, her crochetting, and the 4 babies I lost. So she's not lonely or sad. I am though, becuase I am selfish enough that I want her here with me, though not like she was at the end. I want her fighting with Derek and making intelligent conversation. I can't even be mad at God, who can blame him for wanting someone like Mom with him. It doesn't stop me from feeling a wee bit sad and missing her though.
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Lisa,
I share your thoughts so much. Not so much about your just your Mom, but about Grandpa. There are still many times that I would like so much to pick up the phone and give him a call or know I could walk in the house in Monte and see him sitting there. You continue to always be in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Aunt Merna
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